


Underneath the Lovely London Sky

by EclecticSorcerer



Series: No Cishets in Mary Poppins (Working Title) [1]
Category: Mary Poppins (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Trans Jack, local nb author says its self projection and validation time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 04:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17718044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EclecticSorcerer/pseuds/EclecticSorcerer
Summary: Jack is an easygoing fellow who can take almost anything in stride, but when Jane discovers a secret, fear is an unwelcome intruder.





	Underneath the Lovely London Sky

Jack’s breath was drawn short as his hands fumbled behind his back, trying to fasten the cloth bound around his chest. One might think such a task would get easier after years of practice, but the struggle was still a long and tedious one.

London was gray today, with mist clouding the skies, and drops of water kissing the glass and bricks of the city. Once he had almost finished dressing, Jack took a moment to press his fingertips to the window, marveling at the cold contrast to the relatively warm air in the room around him. He had risen late that day, and Jane had evidently turned on the heater a while ago. Heating was expensive, but she insisted on using it during these rainy days, which were, unfortunately more common than not.

Still, the rain wasn’t any detriment to the view. From Jane’s flat, Jack could see the bank and the clock tower, rising high above the flat tops of buildings that made up the rest of the skyline. The mist veiled everything in a mysterious haze, giving an air of adventure to the normally familiar streets. Lamps shone through the fog, beacons of light that brought a smile to Jack’s face. The leeries never strayed.

Angus had taken Jack’s shift that morning, insisting that he needed the extra experience, and Jack needed the extra rest. Jack knew the truth had more to do with Angus having a sweetheart fellow on Jack’s route, but who was he to rob a young man of a chance to spend time with a handsome suitor? Besides, he actually did need the rest. In his line of work, a need for flexibility meant loosening his binding, but it still restricted a full range of movement, which made the already laborious job even more grueling.

Still, such troubles were easy to forget, looking at the bright spots of hope and safety that the leeries gave the city. Fingers still pressed to the window, Jack began humming to himself, soft enough that is almost seemed as if he didn’t realize he was doing it.

“Count your blessings, you’re a lucky guy…”

A knock startled Jack out of his thoughts as Jane entered the room, the door apparently having been slightly ajar.

“Sorry for barging in, I just- oh.”

Jane’s eyes slid over Jack's torso before she hurriedly raised her hand to cover them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- er. Jack? Are you alright?”

Jack was frozen in place, caught, fearful, unable to tear his gaze away from Jane’s covered eyes.

“You’re not hurt are you? I just heard your voice and wondered if you needed anything.”

“U-uh, no,” Jack stammered out. “Thank you, Jane, I just um, need to uh-”

“Of course, I’ll just leave you to, uh- right.”

Jane quickly exited, backing out of the room, eyes still covered, making sure to pull the door until it closed completely. Even when he heard the click of the latch, Jack couldn’t release the breath he was holding.

His head swam and he barely stumbled to the bed before his knees gave out. She had seen him. Emotions had flashed too quickly across her features for him to catch all of them but there had at least been two big ones. Concern, and then realization. God, how he wished he hadn’t seen the realization. How could he face her now? He had been holding out on his own feelings, knowing he would have to tell her one day. Knowing how difficult it would be, even if she didn’t mind. Society didn’t _like_ people like him, and he was fine with that. He had the leeries, they were his family, they understood. But he couldn’t inflict that on Jane. He couldn’t pass his target to someone else. Now he didn’t even know if she would let him stay.

Jack cursed himself for being so careless. He had a place to go back to, but it was rough, both on him, and the rest of the leeries. Part of him staying with Jane was supposed to make it easier on them, give them one less mouth to feed while he still donated part of his salary to the group funds. Still, he had been there before and he could live there again. Or maybe he could even ask Cousin Topsy if he could stay with her, even if only for a few days. Plans, backup plans, backup backup plans. He would be fine. He had to be fine. He had to be. Still, that didn’t stop his heaving chest or spinning head. Fear had settled in the pit of his stomach like a stone and it wasn’t going away any time soon.

Jack remained in his room for the rest of the day. Twice, he thought he heard Jane’s footsteps stop outside his door, but twice, there was no knock. So he sat on the bed, knees hugged to his torso, tucking them under his chin as he stared out the window. He mouthed the words of his song, but he dared not give them a real voice. The sky had shattered above him, and if he said anything aloud, the shards may just rain down and shred him to ribbons.

Around 6:30 pm, he heard footsteps again, and this time, a knock followed them.

“Jack?” Jane’s voice called softly. There was a worried edge to her voice. “There’s dinner if you’re hungry.” There was silence for a moment, as Jack didn’t answer.

“If you want to talk...” Jane paused, and the floor creaked as she shifted her weight. “I’ll be right out here.” She waited for a moment longer, listening for a response, but soon left, her receding footsteps echoing in his ears.

Jack finally left his room around midnight, hunger driving him out of the solitude he had built. Pulling an old shirt over his head, he stepped out carefully, scanning the room for Jane. A plate of chicken and vegetables lay at his table place, and Jane was opposite it, slumped over in sleep. A single candle was burning low in front of her. Jack pulled it away, as it was dangerously close to her face, set it in the center of the table, and sat down. It must have cost quite a bit to find this, Jack thought as he ate. Guilt gnawed at his insides, but it wasn’t like the food could be uncooked and returned, so he forced the feeling down. He could leave some of his money to make up for it when he left. No use in her paying for his last meal here.

She must have just fallen asleep recently, because the soft clinking of silverware roused Jane after only a few minutes. She considered Jack with half-lidded eyes, any emotion masked by the leftovers of drowsiness. Jack ignored her. They sat in a thick silence, neither willing to cut it with words. Still, ever the brave one, Jane finally spoke first.

“You... aren’t injured are you?”

Jack took a moment to set his silverware down by the sides of his plate before answering. His eyes remained fixed on the unfinished food in front of him, refusing to meet Jane’s gaze as she rested her chin in her hands.

“No.”

“Alright.”

When she didn’t say more, Jack raised his head to look at her. To his surprise, she was smiling. Her hair was mussed, and her face had lines from her shirt sleeve pressed into one cheek where it had rested on her arm. Her eyes were still sleepy, but bright with kindness.

“You- you're not going to boot me?”

“Why would I?”

“I... I’m not- well. As you saw, I’m not a...” Jack couldn’t finish his sentence. _Not a real man._ Just the thought made him feel sick. He was real! But most others felt otherwise.

“That doesn’t matter to me. You are who you say you are. And from what you’ve said, you’re Jack the leerie. I’m not going to question that.”

Jack blinked in surprise. She wasn’t going to push him away. She didn’t _care_. She still saw him and what he was, not what he had been forced to hide his whole life. Jack cradled his head in his hands, elbows on the table. All that worry and fear, he could let it go. He was laughing and crying all at once, and then Jane’s arms were around him. She held him as his shoulders shook, not too tight, but close and warm enough for comfort. Jack didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but by the time he raised his head, tears had dried on his cheeks, and he could feel the trails tighten as he grinned at Jane.

“Thank you,” he said, and stood to hug her back, arms wrapped tightly around the only person that currently tethered him to the world. A little voice in the back of his head reminded him that just because she accepted him, the world would not be kind to either of them, but for this blissful moment, Jack didn’t care.

**Author's Note:**

> no cishets in mary poppins  
> also angus is the main leerie jack talks to in trip a little light fantastic if you dont remember, bc i sure didnt :p


End file.
